Thursday, May 9, 2013

When things are not good.

When I love someone, truly love him, I lay my heart open to him. I give him a part of myself that I give to no one else, and I let him inside a part of me that only he can hurt-I literally hand him the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on my heart and soul. And when he do strike, it’s crippling-like having my heart carved out. When I cry so hard that it hurts my throat, it is out of frustration or knowing that no matter what I can do or attempt to do can't change the situation. When I feel like I need to cry, when I want to just get it out, relieve some of the pressure from the inside - that is true pain. Because no matter how hard I try or how bad I want to, I can't. That pain just stays in place. Then, if I am lucky, one small tear may escape from those eyes that water constantly. That one tear, that tiny, salty, droplet of moisture is a means of escape. Although it's just a small tear, it is the heaviest thing in the world. And it doesn't do a damn thing to fix anything.


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